But sometimes, I have moments when I'm more like...
This should come as no surprise because:
1. I'm human.
2. If you're a human mom (as opposed to a robot mom), you're the same way. We all have our triggers.
3. I already told you I have to do these 4 things to enjoy being a SAHM. Even though being a stay-at-home-mom is my dream.
Aside from those four things, I have this trick. And it might sound kind of sad at first because when I told my husband about it, he said, "Well, that's the saddest thing ever." But it's really not!
My trick is...
to push my own wants to the side.
The first time I started implementing this trick was in the summer of '16, when Pokemon Go was the big thing. My husband (Gary), our baby (M), and I went out to the park to enjoy the sun and catch some Pokemon. Only, as soon as I started playing, M got the crankies because he needed my full attention. At first, I got irritated, and my thought was, "I can never do anything I want to do." Now that is sad. Because it's not true.
What I want to do more than anything is raise my son/have a family. So already, every day I'm alive, I'm doing a great big thing I want to do.
That day in the park, I had a choice. I could either wallow in the fact that my baby needed all my attention, or I could embrace and enjoy that my baby needed all my attention.
I embraced it. And found out that my Grumpy Mommy Trigger is M's whining while I'm trying to do something else. Since he can't self-regulate yet, he's going to whine for me when I'm not paying attention to him. That means I can keep getting irritated every time I try to do stuff, or...I can push my own wants to the side.
Since implementing this trick, I've happily sat on the sidelines during a family mini golf outing, set aside DIY projects, and "missed out" on small chunks of things like family Christmas. Keyword: happily. It's not always an automatic happy, but it's an intentional happy. I have the privilege and honor of raising a child. I don't want to take it for granted or miss out on all the little moments that matter because I was distracted or gritting my teeth, wishing I could be doing something else.
Now, I'm not saying you should never take time for yourself! Get your husband/parents/sibling to hang out with your cutie while you nap/read/shop. Do it, do it, do it. But this trick is meant to be applied when your baby needs YOU. Which is a lot because, honestly, no one is quite like Mommy.
And, yeah, it does help to know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. M won't always need or want my full attention all the time. As he gains more independence, I'll have more time and space to do other things I want to do.
For now, I can set aside projects and games and whatever else so Mommy Grumpies don't take away from our fleeting time together.