Monday, May 22, 2017

I'm a Mommy Blogger but I'm Not a Sanctimommy

A "sanctimommy" is a sanctimonious mommy. Basically a mom who is super opinionated about parenting and isn't afraid to tell people that her way is the best way.

Well, crap, maybe I am a sanctimommy...

Parenting is a huge passion of mine. Has been since I was little and practicing on my dolls. I even started reading parenting magazines at eighteen and got funny looks from my college friends when I said, "I just want to get married and be a mom. Like right now." And now I blog about parenting and motherhood.

I share some pretty controversial stuff on Facebook. I openly talk about being an ex vaxxer, anti-spanking (anti-any-punishment, actually), pro-bed-sharing, firm believer in "breast is best," and I don't believe traditional schooling will help kids thrive and actually learn.

I absolutely 100% believe these things are the best way. That's why I live these out and love to share information about them.

But it's not like I just spew my opinions and that's the end because I'm right and everyone with opposing views and beliefs is wrong. I also love to discuss and listen to other viewpoints. I don't know everything and have no problem admitting that. You don't know what you don't know, which is why you should always be open to learning and understanding.

Every mom is different. Every parent unit is different. Every child is different. And we all come from different backgrounds full of different experiences and have different priorities and goals. So how much sense does it make that every mom will agree on everything? None.

You want to know a secret, though? Something people have forgotten?

It's okay to disagree. *Gasp* Yes, it's true. And guess what else? You can share your opinion. *Double gasp* Yup. You can share your opinion and it doesn't mean you're a judgmental, mommy-shaming sanctimommy.

I swear we live in a society where I could go to a tree convention and say something as simple as, "Trees grow out of the ground," and three people would pop out of nowhere to say, "That's not true. Some trees grow in pots. Educate yourself and stop being judgemental about trees. You're shaming the small trees that grow in pots by pretending the don't exist." And I would be thinking, "What the heck, dude? I thought we were all here because we love trees. All you had to do was remind me about small trees in pots."

I'm passionate about bed-sharing, but I don't think less of a mom whose baby sleeps in a crib. I don't know why she's chosen a crib. Maybe she's a heavy sleeper and bed-sharing doesn't feel safe. Maybe she and her husband need the bed to themselves for the sake of their marriage. I have no idea. It's none of my business. Regardless, I'll be over here in my corner of the momiverse saying, "Bed-sharing is the best because it helps regulate breathing and makes children feel secure!" Just because I'm passionate about that doesn't diminish the other mom's passion for the crib.

I totally believe my way is the best way. I'll even shout it from the rooftops. But the great thing about the world is that there's more than one rooftop. So you can stand on one and proclaim your passions too. And the thing that separates this passionate momma from the sanctimommies is that I won't throw tomatoes at your roof. I'll listen, respect you, disagree, and wave because you're my neighbor. You're not the enemy. A different opinion doesn't mean we're at war. It means we're human. And we're all doing our best.

Tell me what you're passionate about when it comes to parenting!


  1. Agreed. What works for you might not work for me, but as long as we respect each other's beliefs and opinions, things are fine. I'm a co-sleeper but my friends are not. I'm the only one in my family that wants to homeschool her kids, my siblings do not. Daycare works for them, it doesn't work for me. It doesn't mean they're wrong or I'm wrong, it's just what works for each of us :)

    1. Exactly! Different families, different beliefs, different priorities. It's great when we can all be different and still love and respect each other.

  2. I am passionate about many things about parenting. At the moment I am loving reading other peoples opinions.

    1. It's definitely interesting to see other perspectives!

  3. I don't wanna think that I'm that kind of mom..But yeah, my way is always the best way, so maybe I'm a sanctimommy too :O

  4. I just learned what a sanctimommy and crunchy mommy are. I'm not really either. My friend is a sanctimommy and she gave me a really hard time about breastfeeding. I did it for three months and had to turn it EP. I still EP and my son has been refusing to nurse since 3 mo. Nursing was a huge trigger for my postpartum depression and anxiety. I explained that to here and all she could say was that I maybe wasn't doing it right and she needed to find her friend to come help me relearn. Never mind that I had paid a home consultant twice and went to breastfeeding support group twice a week for two months. It definitely didn't make me feel better.