Monday, May 30, 2016

The Day a Positive Pregnancy Test Changed Our Lives

One year ago today, I woke up to find an at-home pregnancy test waiting for me on the bathroom sink with a sticky note Gary left, saying, "Here's to hoping, Mommy!"

We'd spent the last couple weeks telling our friends and family about the vision God gave me about our future child--a black girl. After 18 months of trying to get pregnant, and many of those months ending in heartache, we decided this was our last month we'd hope for the positive pink lines. Sometimes God's plan for us is different than what we imagine for ourselves. Different and always better, even if we can't see how. We were excited about the vision of our daughter and ready to surrender our own plans.

But my period was a day late this morning, a year ago. And the night before, my chocolate and coffee flavored ice cream made my stomach churn. My nipples even looked darker the day before. But I was reading into things, I told myself, just like every single month before. And that was okay because I'd get my babies another way.

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After Gary woke up, I peed on the stick, and we waited together the two or three minutes before we crept in the bathroom to look at the test just one more time. Hopeful, but content. Scared, but at peace. Our breaths caught at the sight of two pink lines--a positive! Finally, after all this time, a positive. Now, after we surrendered all our hopes and plans, a positive!

I'll never forget how it felt to hug Gary while we shook with tears and laughter. The awe. The relief. That unique everything-is-instantly-different-now feeling. We were having a baby!

This was the new greatest day of our lives. We busted out the baby clothes we'd been buying. The clothes were symbols of hope and faith. The clothes were bought sometimes with heavy hearts. That day, we shuffled through them and picked out first outfits and imagined our sweet baby in them.

We made plans to surprise our families with the news that same day. We were able to get some family's reactions on video, which I might share with friends on Facebook for the first time later. Anyway, we couldn't wait to tell everyone. Of course, we knew the risks and understand why people wait to tell, but the way we saw it was there was finally a baby. And we can't say what the future holds, but a baby is worth celebrating from the get-go.

Our lives changed big time a year ago today. I'll never forget it. My big guy was just the size of a poppy seed, but he filled our hearts and lives in an instant.


Other posts you may enjoy:
What I Changed to Enhance My Fertility the Month Before My Positive Pregnancy Test
Overcoming Pregnancy Fears

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